Marianne and Kate are the Lady Academics’ “veteran” Bachelor franchise viewers/apologists: Kate has been watching since Kaitlyn’s season, and Marianne since JoJo’s.
Marianne: Suspend your disbelief, and your third-wave feminism. Also, treat the contestants like characters in a fable!
Kate: Know your tropes, however reductive (villain! slut! crazy girl! keeper – that’s you, Vanessa!). Watch UnREAL for help with this. Appreciate the work that the producers do to make this happen!
Marianne: Treat this as a veeeery specific breed of travel documentary. These peeps get to visit beautiful, exotic destinations (or sometimes they get stuck with Milwaukee). Make mental notes about which Mexican beaches are sexiest for ur next sprang break. Also, I enjoy carefully observing all of the minor instances of PDA to try to determine whose chemistry is natural and whose is forced. Watch the hands! You can apply your new sleuthing abilities to judge relationships out in the real world, helping you distinguish between creeps and soulm8s 😉
Kate: Believe that this is real love, or at least, that the people on the show are feeling real love! The Bachelor is an intense and alcohol-fueled environment that produces these feelings. And not just love! I do think that the show inspires real friendships among some of the women. It’s just like study abroad! You might not have been friends with or have had feelings for these people otherwise, but these things happen when you’re stuck together.
Both ladies: Let yourself fall in love with Nick, because it makes it more fun. He’s cut (says Marianne) and an amazing skater (says Kate). His beard is good. He’s a fox. (Nick, call us.)